Those Darned Littluns!
by Kodoku mousou
Summary: AU While the biguns are having their power struggle, the littluns are bored. But they have an idea that they believe will surely give them attention and thus, no boredom... Abandoned cause it sucks and is going nowhere
1. Chapter 1

Those darned littluns!

All the biguns were fighting. Again. It was actually the fifth fight they had that day. And, of course, the littluns don't know what they're fighting about, so they became bored really fast. One of them, let's call him Arnold, decided that they should do something. "DO SOMETHING? WHAT IS THERE TO DO? WE'RE STUCK ON AN ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!" one cried. From now on he will be called Johnny.

"We could kill a pig!" one suggested. "Yeah, but that red haired kid will get mad at us if we hunt without him!" another said. "Yeah, but he doesn't have to know!" "What the hell are you talking about, Arnold?" Of course he'll find out!" "EVERYONE QUIET! I have an idea." A kid named Brandon said with a certain smirk.

"Whatcha got in mind?" some kid named George asked. "Golding is big meanie! We should a bigger part in the story, right?" "YEAH!" all the littluns shouted. "So if we kill all the pigs on the island, we would have to get a bigger part!" "Yeah, the part where we all get killed by Jack!" Johnny retorted. You can tell by now he's very pessimistic, can't you?

"Not if we run very, very fast!" Arnold said, proud of his brilliant plan. "HELLO! THIS IS AN ISLAND! HE'LL CORNER US FOR SURE!" Johnny screamed. You can tell Johnny also likes yelling. If I were Golding, this would mean something. But I'm not, so he's just a twit. "Hey author lady! Get on with the story! We have pigs to kill!" Brandon yelled. "But we're not going to kill the pigs! That's the hunters' job!" George said. "Then I declare us hunters!" Brandon said with a dramatic pose. All the littluns did a battlecry and charged into the jungle.

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Meanwhile, the biguns were having another argument. That is, until they heard a bunch of shouting from the other side of the island. "What are those darned littluns doing now?" Ralph said, annoyed the power struggle was interrupted the one time Ralph was winning. But humans are evil, so he will never win. : P "I knew we shouldn't have left them alone." Piggy said. "Shut up, Fatty!" Jack snapped at the same time Ralph said, "Sucks to your ass-mar!"

"Hey, where's Roger?" Maurice asked. As if on cue, a rolling sound was heard and yep, you guessed it, Piggy was flattened. Where the boulder seemed to come from, stood Roger, who looked very proud that he had gotten rid of the, what he thought was, blubbering idiot.

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"We can't kill them all! Golding planned ahead, the pigs keep magically appearing!" one littlun said. "Well keep trying! Author powers only work for so long!" Brandon said as they charged into the jungle for the second time.

TBC

A/N Yes I know I changed the plot. I like it better for this story. I'm trying a new attempt at humor since it was requested I write more LOTF fics. So I hope you enjoyed it and review! Oh yeah, for those who don't know, William Golding is the author of Lord of the Flies.


	2. Chapter 2

Those Darned Littluns!

"Nooooooooooooooooo! The only working brain left on the island! Gone!" Ralph cried, sinking to his knees. "Would you have liked to die in his place?" Jack asked. Ralph nodded slowly. "Well too bad, all his intelligence made my head hurt. I'm glad he finally shut up." Bill said. Everyone but Ralph and Maurice laughed. "Hey, isn't this a humor story? Nothing's funny about dying. I say we go to the littluns." Maurice said. Ahem, good point, Maurice. Have a cookie. : )

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All the littluns, now fully packed with war paint, spears, and all that good stuff were charging through the forest, scaring away any pigs that could be left. Of course, like Johnny said in the last chapter, this is an island and therefore, the pigs will be captured.

Unfortunately, by now the pigs were smarter than the littluns. Sad, isn't it? So they could never manage to kill the pigs.

Finally, Brandon sat down on a rock, head in his hands. He sighed, "We're never going to kill a pig, are we?" "I've been wondering, how can killing pigs give us a bigger part?" George asked. Then all at once, there were answers such as, "Why do we want a bigger part?" "Cause we then have a name other than 'littluns'" "Cause it's fun." "EVERYONE QUIET! Do you all realize are lost in the middle of the woods!" Johnny announced. Of course, no one actually listened to him over the loud talking everyone else did.

Johnny sighed. Then he began to wonder why no one listened to him. _But everyone listens to Brandon. _He thought mockingly. _Let's go all hunt pigs! He says. Well I say we stay unnoticed. Who got killed? Main characters! Not the main MAIN characters, of course. Jack and Ralph get to live. Lucky bastards._ He continued to think such thoughts until he finally got an idea. He ran off, planning never to fall under Brandon's rules again. Anyone seeing some repetition here?

Of course, no one likes Johnny and all his yelling, so the few people who did notice him leave did a little cheer. I'll leave their exact movements for your imagination.

AN I know these chapters are extremely short. But would you rather have to wait a couple days longer for a few more paragraphs? I didn't think so.


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